Back to Bones

It’s not often the Arcane Tribunal comes to this realm, but I suppose I really shouldn’t be surprised. A bit of wizard flame to heat up your soup is one thing, but I used world magic to reanimate that skeleton. That means the spell doesn’t need maintaining; it draws power from this realm itself to stay active. There’s not much, but…no one’s really using it, so it balances out.

What was supposed to be my magic assistant is now buzzing around in a car, causing accidents and panic. Oh, the news has spread…now he’s visiting the car air conditioning regas professionals near Adelaide, apparently on some automobile jaunt. The Tribunal heard, and they’ve ordered me to investigate.

Mounds of paperwork, old obituaries…oh, it’s been harrowing. At least I know this skeleton has a fondness for cars. Across the city, at all kinds of car repair shops and wheel alignment services, tales are told of a strange, thin man with a giant mustache that hides most of his pale face. He certainly likes to drive, and get professional car servicing. It’s all about the cars…and the music. Of course, this supposed DJ ‘Boney Mac’ has to be him. Cars and music are both quite popular in this realm, and gosh, looking up records is painful. I must consult the blinky answers box, as opposed to simply summoning a djinn and demanding information by thrice yanking his mystic moustache. 

But finally, FINALLY I’ve narrowed it down. Using the site of the grave from whence he was summoned, records, and the fact that he loves auto mechanics and music, he’s either…an automobile entrepreneur from the late 19th century who died because he was driving an experimental steam-powered vehicle and playing the bassoon at the same time. Or, it’s the skeleton of the infamous Fiddle O’ Freddie: bank robber, arsonist, anarchist and Australia’s worst ever carjacker, known for playing the fiddle very badly while committing his crimes.

Well, next time he pops up for a car service, Adelaide or elsewhere, I’ll have to be ready. The Tribunal would like him to be…um, inanimate again.

-W. McWillickers